3 min read
Who Am I After Sport? Counselling for Life Transitions and Career Change
When a sport, a career, or any all-consuming role comes to an end, it can leave you asking who you are without it — and that question is worth talking through.
Today we had the chance to talk with Emily McGrath Agg, a BC mental health counsellor based in Vancouver, BC, with experience as an NCAA Division I university ice hockey player and as a director of operations in the corporate world. We talked about what life inside high-level sport really looks like, why burnout is so common there, and why leaving a role that shaped your whole identity can be so hard — whether that role is a sport, a career, or something else entirely.
Key takeaways
- Losing a role can feel like losing yourself. Emily shared that by the end of her university hockey career, she hadn’t spent much time thinking about who she was away from the sport. When one role takes up your days, your friendships, and your sense of purpose, its ending can leave a real gap. Counselling can be a space to explore who you are beyond that role — at your own pace.
- Making your own choices can feel strange at first. In high-level sport, meals, sleep, training, and even study time are often planned for you. Emily described how, after years of that structure, everyday decisions — even whether to go out for ice cream with her sister — felt unfamiliar. If you’re leaving a highly structured job, team, or routine and feel overwhelmed by choice, that’s an understandable response, not a personal failing.
- Burnout doesn’t always look like tiredness. Emily believes burnout is a big issue for athletes, because so much of life is geared toward performance. From what she observed, it could show up as more anger and frustration, strain at home, or leaning on alcohol or drugs to cope — and some people were so burnt out they walked away from a game they once loved. Noticing these signs in yourself is a good reason to reach out for support.
- A wider circle of support helps. For Emily, nearly all of her social connection was within her team. Looking back, she wishes she’d had more friendships outside the sport, and feels that would have been more supportive for her mental health. If your whole support network lives inside one job or group, a counsellor can be one steady person outside of it while you build more connection.
- The hard years can leave real strengths. Studying on buses and in airports and performing under pressure also built resilience and adaptability that Emily now sees as a foundation for her later work. A transition isn’t only about loss — talking it through can help you recognise the skills you’re carrying forward into what comes next.
Big transitions — leaving a sport, changing careers, or stepping away from any role that defined you — often come earlier or more suddenly than we expect, and they don’t have to be faced alone. At Free Counselling Society Canada, free one-on-one counselling is available to anyone in Canada, with up to 12 free sessions to talk through who you are and where you’re headed next. If this conversation sounds familiar, reaching out for free counselling is a good next step.
100% free · up to 12 sessions · we reach out within 5 days
Related: Life Transitions Burnout & Work Stress One‑on‑One Adult Counselling · See all conditions
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Your questions, answered.
Everything people usually ask us before their first session — in plain words.
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